I love days like today. The rain ceased for the time being and the sun was out in all its glory. Beth and I relaxed all day, but then at 5:00 PM we decided to take Junior to the neighborhood park. Being in my usual lazy Sunday garments, Beth instructed to me to quickly dress. Before getting dressed I wanted to brush out my hair, which is rather long by now. Beth, entering into the bathroom, heard me ripping out my hair as I tried to brush through the tangles of my long, curly, golden locks. After laughing at the seemingly sounding trauma of ripping the hair out by its follicle roots, I showed Beth my brush and boasted in the amount of hair I ripped out in a manner of a minute. She stated, "You're going to make yourself go bald!"
I replied, "It's a good thinning of my hair, which needs to be manicured and weeded like a lawn. My hair needs it." From there one of our amusing husband-wife arguments ensued. I further said something like, "You wouldn't understand, since my hair is so much thicker and nicer than yours."
My wife quickly responded, "My hair is thicker than yours! Even Joanna (our hairdresser) said so! Feel mine and compare it to yours."
"You can't compare our hair. Mine is full and naturally wavy and curly, while your hair is matted, flat, and straw like, which lays down in a seemingly thicker manner, but it is deceitful," I said in order to exasperate the humorous, ridiculous, and sophomoric content and motivation of our silly tiff. We continued to debate the issue a few minutes, but then I decided to use an analogy in order to help show my wife I possessed the truth in our disagreement. I spoke of our two previous cats (there were three, but I don't count one of them since he died a few days/weeks after we got him), Jael (who I brought to California with me from Oklahoma) and Guffman (who replaced Jael after Jael died at the hands of hungry California coyotes). Jael was this beautiful, fuzzy, furry, hair cat, while Guffman is the plain, regular, run-of-the-mil flat-haired tabby cat. "Your hair is just like Guffy's, but mine is like Jael's. Your hair appears thicker to the touch, but that is because of both the texture of your individual hairs and the manner in which your hair naturally lays. Your hair is matty and straw-like, which is similar to Guffy. And it lays down flat and layers differently so it feels more compact and, therefore, thicker. My hair, like Jael's, is thick, but the texture is wavier and curlier, making it lay down a bit differently and not feel as thick. But, like the cats, Jael's hair was just as thick if not thicker, but it was textured differently and laid down differently."
Amazingly enough, she didn't slam the door on me until after I used another analogy. "Your hair is like wet spaghetti in the way it lays, but mine is like angel hair." After laughing at ourselves, we went to the park and played with Junior. Junior climbed up the big-kid slide all by himself, learned how to walk up a wooden plank, slid down the slides all by himself, and even swung by himself for the first time in the baby swing. Unfortunately, the baby swing clasp is broken, so he hasn't been able to swing it by himself. So, I brought some twine to the park and rigged it as a belt so he could sit in there without either Beth or I holding onto him. He didn't think it was great, but he enjoyed a few moments of it. We came home, ate dinner, and then he blew poop all out his PJ's with some sort of diarrhea explosion. After the necessary bath (especially after playing with himself while covered in his own liquid fecal matter), we played a little and put him down to bed. It's been a good day.
